I found this in my inbox this week. I'm sure I could get in some sort of trouble for posting it, thus proving I agree with the statements of the writer. But oh well. Its funny & true, in a tongue in cheek way. I feel bad I even had to say that really, that some readers might not understand the humor behind it.
A few things to consider.
by Sarah Smiley
Contrary to conventional wisdom, often it is easier to assemble a crib, put up wallpaper, and install new cabinets without the help of a husband. When my husband, Dustin is home, I have to pretend to believe he knows what he is doing, even when wallpaper is falling down, like the peel on a banana, faster than he can put it up. Things get done a lot faster (and dare I say it; much more efficiently, too) when I’m alone. Things are even accomplished at a surprising speed when I can call a repairman without fear of it hurting someone’s ego.
The Every Night is Friday Night Policy
Rules, rules, rules. Our military spouses live and breathe rules. They won’t even pluck a nose hair without consulting their military regulations first. And just so you know, spontaneity usually isn’t in the regulations. When your spouse is at home, try telling him, on a whim at 6:00 p.m. on Wednesday night that you think it’s a great idea to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza. Watch how fast he thinks you’re crazy. But when he’s on deployment, well, every night can be Friday night if you want it to be. You can chart out all the Kids-Eat-Free restaurants for each night of the week and virtually never cook at home!
Full Reign of the Remote Control
Never underestimate the beauty of watching “Project Runway” without someone saying things like, “Who would actually wear a dress made out of Hershey’s wrappers?” and “Those [male] models need haircuts.” Shows like “The Bachelor” are much more enjoyable when there is no one to question the reality of it all or to ruin the fantasy by saying, “That couple will be split up in two weeks.”
When my mom was a Navy wife, she took this concept one step further. My dad was leaving for a six-month deployment the next day. He had already packed his bags and taken them down to the ship, but wouldn’t actually board until early in the morning. Late that night, Mom realized that Dad had accidentally packed the remote control to the television in their bedroom.
“You have to go down to the ship and get the remote control,” Mom said.
“Right now? At this time of night?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “You can not leave me here for six months without the remote control.”
Which is to say, “Don’t take away my one guilty pleasure: falling asleep to the sounds of Nick at Nite.”
Forgetting How He Snores
Of course, in the larger scheme of things, no amount of perks can ever make-up for having your spouse away on deployment. There’s just no getting around it; being separated is as much fun as biting off a hangnail. If Dustin were to leave tomorrow, maybe I’d never miss the way he snores and leaves toenail clippings in the bathroom sink, but I’d also never forget how much I appreciate him being at home. In fact, appreciation often grows more intense during deployments.
Which brings us to the best perk of all: A reunion that feels a lot like a second honeymoon.